Wednesday, May 16, 2007

Songs for the Weak

"Our Anniversary" by Smog
This song goes absolutely nowhere, and has none of the creeping intensity of earlier Smog tracks like "Bathysphere." What it does have, however, is a warm breeze that courses through it like so many pointless drives I'm going to miss this summer. It also has lyrics that are adorable without being even a little bit cloying. One of my favorites:

It's our anniversary, and you've hidden my keys
"This is one anniversary
you're spending with me"

There's a couple I'd consider rooting for.
[Available on iTunes]

"Monster Mash" by Bobby "Boris" Pickett
The best version of this song is from the album K-Tel's Goofy Greats. Have you ever really listened to the lyrics? They're infinitely more imaginative than anything Goethe or Dylan ever came up with. (And yes, I will use the exact same criteria to judge all of them!)
[Available on iTunes]

"I'm a Flirt (Remix)" by R. Kelly ft. TI and T-Pain
There are no guilty pleasures -- unless of course you're talking about R. Kelly. In fact, I'm not sure there are any pleasures when you're talking about R. Kelly. I regretted buying this song as soon as it finished downloading. That unctuous voice! And who the hell rhymes "chick" with "chick" (or "holler at her" with "holler at her")? And don't even get me started on T-Pain calling himself Teddy Pinned-her-ass (as opposed to Pendergrass, get it?). I still listen to this though, partly because it reminds me of how Beck supposedly once said, "Look, if R. Kelly is joking, he is the greatest performer of all time."

[Available on iTunes]

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